My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
