just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I have post one night stand depression
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