Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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