just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
