What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
