He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize