I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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