i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
