Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
