Can Purell be used as lube?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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