Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
