Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the raccoons are back...
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