i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
