in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize