The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i've created a new STD.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
