So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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