If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
