where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
