i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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