You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
