Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
