My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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