...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
