i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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