It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
