Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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