she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
