You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
