M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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