Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
