You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
