..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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