I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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