My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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