you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
