Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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