Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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