is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
