I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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