I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize