Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
