can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
