There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
