There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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