I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
