After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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