This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
