I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
