You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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