You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
