You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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