Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
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