thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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