I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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