I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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