If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
