You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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