You made me cry and you don't even care
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
