I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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