so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
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