I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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